


Finding Forgiveness (Finale of "Saving Azula")

by robertskycard



Series: Saving Azula [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Azula Can't Help Being a Bitch, Azula's Snark, But We Love Her For It, Gen, Mental Health Issues, OOC Is Serious Business, Sociopathic character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-03-03 15:25:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13344054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertskycard/pseuds/robertskycard
Summary: Disclaimer: This fic is part of a larger, incomplete work.Azula has made her return to the Fire Nation, welcomed with open arms by her brother, the new Fire Lord. Now serving as the Fire Nation's Royal Spymaster, she has a new challenge to overcome. The challenge of forgiveness.





	1. A Grave Error

**Author's Note:**

> As stated in the summary, this work is part of a larger, incomplete work that is most likely dead in the water. I had written the following scenes as part of Azula's final redemption arc. I really didn't want them to go to waste, but they still need editing, so I'll post them as I finish them up.

Azula stepped into Zuko's office. It used to be their father's office. She thought it should feel stranger, stepping in and reporting to Zuzu of all people, but she didn't feel strange at all. She couldn't decide if this was a good thing. Zuko sat at the old desk, surrounded by mountains of scrolls, hunched forward, head slowly slumping as exhaustion took its toll. Father's had always been pristine and Father had always sat tall and straight, but then again Father was a conqueror, not a diplomat. Apparently, this was the price of negotiation.

She cleared her throat. Zuko jerked up, blinking rapidly. He quickly straightened his back and coughed, clearly embarrassed that she'd caught him about to nod off.

"Azula! I didn't see you come in. Come, sit down, sit down."

She pointedly avoided the chair and took two steps into the room. Precision was everything.

"Hello, Zuzu. I was wondering if you had time to speak about the request I filed to you."

This was her courteous way of demanding his full attention and he quickly picked up on it.

"Of course," he replied as he reached into one of the many stacks and produced a scroll with her seal on it. He unfurled it and spread it out on the desk, "I was wanting to talk to you about it, actually."

"How cordial of you."

"It's..." he paused, his expression twisting into that constipated look people get when they try too hard to think, "I'm not sure I can grant this without an explanation."

"Please," Azula snorted, rolling her eyes, "You're the Fire Lord. Surely you can grant your Royal Spymaster a few more agents. These come highly recommended, they're loyal, and they're discreet."

"This says nothing of them becoming agents."

"Why would I want them for anything else?" she feigned innocence as she carefully studied her fingernails. Short and blunt, kept that way by the doctors so she couldn’t harm herself when she was locked in the looney bin. Not her particular style, but trimming them had become so habitual lately that the effort to let them grow was more than keeping to the daily trim.

"Azula," Zuko began to chide, using that simpering tone of voice that Azula absolutely despised. Her eyes snapped back to him.

"The bottom line is that it is important that they get out. So get them out. Whether or not I recruit them is my prerogative as Royal Spymaster."

Zuko's face hardened like quenched steel, "I'm not stupid, Azula."

"I beg to differ."

"I don't see how letting out mental patients is going to help you or the Fire Nation."

"Perhaps you could let me explain it in little words so that you can understand."

Zuko's brow twiched as Azula leaned forward and pressed her hand on the desk, hoping the move was imposing enough for him to understand that the best course of action would be to pick up his brush and sign the release form.

"I need them out of there. Simple as that."

Her hope was misplaced, she discovered as he flippantly rerolled the scroll tightly.

"No. I'm not letting them out."

She straightened back up and crossed her arms, resisting the temptation to give Zuko a second scar to match the first.

"And may I ask why?"

"Because I'm not stupid, Azula. They helped you with your kidnapping scheme."

There it was. His reasons had nothing to do with their status as mental patients and everything to do with his fear she might be plotting against him. While that fear was well founded and she was actually impressed he'd done some homework this time, she was fulfilling her part of the bargain when she accepted this position. It would have been nothing to simply lie to the doctors and orderlies that Zuko had demanded their release. By the time Zuko could have done anything about it, it would have been too late. But she had made a promise to do things the "right" way, even if it made things difficult for her.

Or, more accurately, even if _he_ made things more difficult for her.

"Zuzu," she said, adopting the same chiding tone he had only moments ago, "When I took the position of Royal Spymaster, you made me swear to do things 'the right way.' I've been a good little spymaster by asking you directly instead of breaking them out again by myself, so why don't you be a good little Fire Lord and give me good incentive to keep doing things your way? Otherwise, I might be tempted to do things _my_ way."

She had her suspicions as to why he was holding her request at bay. She wasn't the only one capable of blackmail, after all. He wanted to know the nitty gritty details on why Azula wanted to release the inmates. That was obvious. But _why_ he wanted to know was the true mystery. Was it leverage he wanted? Or did he think family bonding meant talking about deep, dark secrets and hidden pain all the time? Whatever it was, Azula confirmed her suspicions when, instead of flying off the handle at her threats and saying that she would, under no uncertain terms, do what she just suggested she could, he simply fixed her with a sympathetic look that made her blood boil.

"Azula, what's really bothering you? What is so important about these women?"

She quirked an eyebrow at him, "You're not being subtle about trying to pry into my personal affairs, Zuzu. I thought you knew me better than that."

"Come on, Azula," he said with the tone of a child gently coaxing a turtleduck out of its shell, "This is out of the range of your usual requests and I would be willing to let them out if I knew the real reason behind it."

"Oh, please," Azula scoffed. This was the last straw. He could have this stupid victory if it meant so much to him, "I've already outlined how it would be beneficial to both of us for me to work with people experienced in my way of doing things. But apparently, you want a sob story. Don't play games with me, Zuko. I don't have the patience for it. This isn't about the safety of the Fire Nation, it's about you wanting to pry personal information out of me and you're leveraging your position to do it. Fine, then. You can keep the girls locked in their cages and continue to waste everyone's time."

She realized she had let something slip. Or, perhaps, Zuko had grown more perceptive. He caught on one word, "Everyone?"

She felt the flames of anger burning even brighter. She couldn't stop herself from revealing a little more, "Yours, mine, the patients, the doctors, everyone!" she snapped before turning on her heel and marching out of the office, resisting the urge to engulf the whole room in sapphire flame.

 

* * *

Bending was usually the greatest way of distracting herself. When she felt her chi flow through her body as she cut loose with blasts of fire, it brought her peace in the form of intense focus. When she fought Zuko, the Avatar, the Fire Nation's enemies, even that Water Tribe tart, she'd never felt more in control.

She was slowly working toward that state, even if her mind was buzzing like a hive of hornet moths. The worst part was that she knew why, too. She'd made a mistake. She'd let slip something that would allow Zuko to find out her one fatal flaw, her one imperfection, should he put his tiny mind to it. Now, her mind was consumed with it. But there was nothing to be done about it at present, save for distracting herself.

Her hand knifed through the air as she twirled around, gouts of blue flames bursting forth from her fingers. She spun again and lashed out with a kick, releasing a brilliant flare of sapphire. Had some unfortunate soul been standing in front of her, their face surely would have roasted. She leapt into the air, spinning like a corkscrew, landed perfectly on her feet, and thrust both fists forward. The blast of flame was twice her size. Truly impressive, considering it was nearly evening and Sozin's Comet wouldn't return for another century or so. She had to hand it to Zuzu and Uncle Iroh. That ancient method of bending, with an emphasis on creation over destruction, certainly had its benefits.

 _Time for the grand finale_ , she thought as she took a deep breath. She flushed every errant thought from her mind as she wove and intricate pattern before her. Her fingertips crackled with cold fire as she prepared for the coming strike. She thrust her fingers into the sky and the heavens trembled with the resounding crack of lightning and thunder.

She let her breath go and smirked. Her troubled thoughts were gone for the moment and not a hair was out of place. Perfect.

"Azula."

Her brow furrowed and her mood immediately soured.

"Zuzu," she said without turning to address him. He may be Fire Lord, but he was still her brother. She'd bow in public, but only royals, guards, and the occasional guest were allowed in the Royal Gardens.

"I made a visit to the institution and I made some interesting discoveries."

She turned to him finally, feigning disinterest, "Oh? Do tell."

He stood by the pond in all his regal finery, but even with his clothes, his scar, his scowl and the golden flame pinned to his top knot, Azula thought he still looked like the little boy she'd tricked into shoving Mai into the fountain. Wide eyed, yet completely blind, even though he thought he saw everything.

"Yes. I talked to the doctors and they told me that they've had little progress on patients you want let out," he said with the confidence of a town crier reading edicts he didn't truly understand, "They said their conditions were severe and that the best course of action would be to keep them for the foreseeable future."

"My, that was certainly quick. You weren't even gone an hour."

She saw the doubt immediately cast a shadow over his face and she held back a smirk. She pressed the advantage.

"I bet you didn't even ask why they were in there in the first place, did you? Because you were not thinking about why these women were locked away, you were thinking about the fact that I used them against you."

"I wasn't-"

"Perhaps not consciously, but you took the doctors' words at face value. You didn't think that doctors would have reason to lie to the Fire Lord. You didn't think that perhaps I might have had reason to choose them the first time, having been a patient with them."

"I-"

"No," she snarled, "You didn't think. You never think. That's your problem, Zuzu. You always do the first thing that comes to mind and you never consider the consequences. I might struggle to understand why someone might feel offence or pain, but at least I make the consideration first."

She reveled in his shock, but then remembered the reason for her anger, and the feeling didn't last. She stepped toward him, clenching her hand into a fist.

"Here's some advice. If Fire Lord Sozin was wrong about starting the war, then it stands to reason he made other mistakes. You find that, you find the reason I wanted the women out and still want them out. I'm not going to dictate it to you."

She stormed off, only just resisting the urge to set the garden on fire.

* * *

It wasn't until she was in bed that she saw him again that day.  She heard her door open and the light from the hall poured in. She had been just about to fall asleep, too. She groaned as she sat up, stretching her arms and back.

"Hello, brother. Unravel the mystery yet?"

He looked a bit haggard in comparison to how he had looked this morning. The solution must have eluded him. Her secret was still safe.

"I'm completely clueless, Azula."

"Well, I'm glad we agree on something."

"Ha ha," he said without any ounce of humor.

"Is there something you actually wanted to say to me?" she yawned, "I'm tired and I want to go back to sleep."

He sighed and rubbed his face, "I don't know exactly what Fire Lord Sozin has to do with this whole thing, but I have made a concrete decision about your request."

"You have?" she leaned forward with interest.

"I'm willing to sign the release forms, but only if you recruit them as agents."

She felt a profound sense of relief wash over her.

"Why Zuzu, thank you! It's not even my birthday."

He didn't look too pleased at Azula's disingenuous tone, but Azula didn't care. She'd done what she set out to do.

"Just don't say I never do anything for you," he groused as he turned and left, the door slamming shut behind him.

Azula tucked herself back into bed.

* * *

Azula worked to translate the coded reports on her desk. She could read the messages fluently, so it wasn't for her benefit. She had invented this coding system after all. It was based on Dai Li encryption, with her own added layer of complexity. It was always risky, doing something derivative like that, but she was confident in her abilities. Especially with her new agents.

As she decoded the messages, she wondered if she should simply teach Zuko how to decode them. It would certainly save time on her end. Then again, when would the Fire Lord have time to learn something so intricately complicated? Would he temporarily cancel morning petitioners for the sake of learning the patterns of the system? Would he forgo his midday sparring or the daily afternoon councilor meetings? Or would he forgo the increasingly awkward family dinners he insisted on making her go to?

No, there wasn't time. Fire Lords didn't get weekends off, apparently, and what little free time he had, he insisted on keeping it free. Not that Azula was any less busy, but her schedule was much more flexible than his. Simply put, as long as she kept Zuko informed, did her duties with Zuko's express permission, and attended the councilor meetings, she could operate however she wished. She figured copying down coded text into something legible was something she could do as a way of letting her body work as she considered how best to manage her agents.

Of course, she couldn't keep him entirely informed. She didn't think he'd want to know that Earth King Kuei still had extravagant breakfasts for himself and his bear. He also didn't want to know that his economic advisor, a happily married man with three children, had a secret male lover. She didn't translate every coded message, as most of them were just for her to keep an eye on everyone else. She translated whatever was relevant. It was more than a little bit strange to her that he trusted her so implicitly. It wasn't too long ago that he'd had a mantra of, "Azula always lies," and that bothered her more than she cared to admit.

 _Father would have a field day if he knew about this_ , she thought to herself as she finished copying one report and moved onto the next, rolling the first up and sealing it with red wax, _I'm going soft_.

She heard a soft rapping on the door.

"Come in," she said without looking up.

The door gently swung open.

"Um...hey."

Azula stopped cold. She set down her calligraphy brush and looked up at Ty Lee. Ty Lee stood in the doorway, dressed in her Kyoshi garb. It served as a reminder of Azula's finest hour. Why Zuko insisted on having these sycophants around was beyond her. The Kyoshi warriors were certainly skilled, but they were gaudy remnants of the past. She'd nearly had an aneurysm when she learned that Ty Lee had officially joined them. It had caused another crack in the already considerably large rift between them.

"What do _you_ want?" she growled.

Ty Lee swayed back and forth, eyes quivering just like they had at the Boiling Rock.

"I...Zuko wanted me to tell you that he figured 'it' out."

"Figured out what?" she bit out. She wasn't in the mood to make snide comments deriding her brother.

Ty Lee shrunk back, "He...said it was Royal Family business."

Azula scoffed, "Of course he did. Anything else?"

"Um...no?"

"Then you can leave. Close the door on your way out."

Azula returned to her calligraphy, but when she noticed the distinct lack of her door closing, she looked up to find Ty Lee still standing in the doorway, hands clasped behind her back as she swayed back and forth, looking at Azula expectantly.

"What?"

Ty Lee flinched.

"Zuko wanted me to take you to him."

Azula's already sour mood went even sourer. She put her brush down again and stood up abruptly. Ty Lee took a step back. To the untrained eye, it simply looked like Ty Lee was preparing to give Azula room and let her through the doorway. But Azula saw the sudden tightness in her muscles, the way her fingers curled so her knuckles became those blunt instruments perfectly designed for finding pressure points, the way her eyes shook with trepidation. It all pointed to one, irrefutable truth.

Ty Lee feared her.

Azula casually strode around her desk, snatching up the completed report, and stepped past Ty Lee into the hall. Ty Lee fell into step beside her, lagging behind a pace or two. They walked in silence. Azula couldn't help but notice that Ty Lee wasn't pausing every few moments to switch from walking on her feet to her hands. This bothered her more than she expected it to. _It must be because of the Kyoshi training_ , Azula thought, _or she can't chi block me when she's walking on her hands_.

Everything changed at the Boiling Rock. The two girls she thought she knew and trusted betrayed her. In hindsight, Azula should have seen Mai's coming. Mai was clearly in love with Zuko, so head over heels that logic and fear simply didn't apply anymore. But Ty Lee...Azula still couldn't wrap her head around it. Ty Lee had been closer to her than her own family, despite how much Mother wanted to protest otherwise. Ty Lee was one of the few people who had once believed that there was some good in Azula, even when Azula knew deep down that she was incapable of seeing anything beyond personal desires.

But that couldn't be true now.

Could it?

Azula suddenly had an epiphany. Ty Lee was too frightened to try to bridge the gap between them. Azula would have to make the first move if she ever wanted things to go back to how they were, if they even could go back at all. But despite that revelation, Azula couldn't help but remember a sharp pinch in her shoulder and spine, couldn't help but remember flopping bonelessly onto corregated steel, couldn't help but remember her anger and how she cried for the first time in years once no one was there to see.

"Ty Lee," Azula's voice cut through their silence like a knife.

"Hm?"

"Why did you join the Kyoshi Warriors?"

Ty Lee's eyes widened. Azula's question had clearly taken her off guard. She recovered quickly, however, and cleared her throat.

"Well, I ended up being cellmates with one of them, we got to talking, one thing led to another, and eventually Suki asked if I'd like to join up. She had a nice, friendly blue aura, so I said yes."

Azula resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Even when they were children, Ty Lee had always insisted that the people around her radiated color according to their mood and personality, and she always insisted that she could "feel" it. Azula probably would have mocked it relentlessly if it wasn't so scarily accurate. Even so, Azula's clinical brain couldn't wrap around the concept of following a gut feeling over cold logic, especially when said gut feeling revolved around color. Now, whenever Ty Lee started going on about aura, Azula would simply try to ignore it.

"Oh," was her response. As she looked over Ty Lee's apparel, she couldn't help but remember how easily they'd fooled the Earth King with their disguises.

"It just occured to me that you joined a group of girls who dress and fight exactly the same way as each other," Azula said as she kept an eye on Ty Lee. Ty Lee looked up, perplexed, as Azula continued, "I distinctly remember you being upset at the prospect of being part of...what was it that you called it? A 'matched set?' Joining the Kyoshi Warriors seems to be a bit counterproductive in that regard."

Ty Lee folded in on herself. Funny, Azula had expected sputtering indignation.

"It's not like we wear the make-up and uniform all the time," Ty Lee murmured sheepishly.

"No, I suppose not," Azula sighed as she feigned examining her fingernails. She smirked, "So what about your free time? Do you go visit the circus? I heard there was a new act. What was it called again? Oh, that's right, The Flying Ty Sisters."

Ty Lee stopped walking. Azula stopped and turned to her. Ty Lee's voice was quiet and small, almost like a child, "Stop."

"Maybe you could invite one of those dozens of boys you always flirt with to watch it with you. Of course, they might take a liking to one of your sisters instead, because they might offer something a little more substantial than a smile and a wink."

Ty Lee fliched away, eyes closed. Azula pressed the attack.

"I think I know the real reason why they let you join the Kyoshi Warriors. They wanted to know how to chi block and you just wanted to feel special. That's what it is, isn't it? All your aura seeing, your circus tricks, your chi blocking. It was all because Mommy and Daddy had seven identical girls and they couldn't spare enough love for the runt of the litter."

Azula had expected the slap when it came, but she'd not anticipated the speed or ferocity. She felt a little blood pooling in her mouth after her teeth cut her lip and she was certain her face was going to bruise. Ty Lee shook with barely contained rage. Azula had never seen this kind of wrath out of her. Azula had been so caught up in toying with her that she'd inadvertently released a creature she had never seen before. She took a step back.

Ty Lee's voice was as cold as an arctic wind as she spoke.

"I'm done with you."

The words struck Azula deeply, deeper than when Father left her behind and declared himself the Phoenix King, deeper than when Ty Lee dug her knuckles into her back and she collapsed, boneless, at the Boiling Rock. Azula couldn't respond, too shocked to even form any coherent response.

Ty Lee continued, either oblivious or uncaring, the steely resolve in her voice beginning to crack and waver as it shook, "I used to think that there was something nice about you. I used to think that I could find it and show everyone else what I saw. I thought that if people knew the real you, they'd see you like I did. But I know now that I've just been lying to myself for all these years. You're just cruel and mean. There's nothing nice about you."

Tears ran down Ty Lee's face, collecting the black, red, and white and leaving behind trails of soft pink, "You're just like Fire Lord Ozai was, and I was stupid enough to think...nevermind what I thought. You're nothing but a heartless shell. No wonder your aura's black as coal."

"Ty Lee-" Azula reached out. Ty Lee's arm lashed out like a viper, her fingertips its fangs, catching Azula's elbow joint. The arm flopped uselessly to Azula's side, suddenly heavy, fleshy, and foreign.

"Don't touch me."

That was all Ty Lee said before she turned and walked down the hall, hands covering her face as she began to cry in earnest. Azula stood in the wreckage of her anger, now an overwhelming sense of defeat, feeling an unfamiliar twisting in her guts as she watched Ty Lee turn a corner and disappear.

She’d made a costly, costly mistake.

"Dammit," was all she could think to say before she made her way to the Fire Lord's office alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In all of this, I wanted Azula to remain as close to her canon characterization as possible while working in the confines of her brother's rule. With Zuko as Fire Lord, Azula would not be able to act on her more impulsive, sociopathic, destructive tendencies in a physical way. Therefore, she would find ways to act that out verbally. I believe being a spymaster would be a good fit for her, simply because skulduggery, espionage, and intrigue are things she's been repeatedly shown as being exceptional at during both the series and the comics thereafter. 
> 
> I know I said this was part of her final redemption arc and it appears that she just took a giant leap backward in that regard. Have faith. I wanted to show Ty Lee actually standing up for herself against Azula entirely on her own. I also wanted to keep Azula in canon, and I believe that Ty Lee's betrayal (for lack of a better word) really struck Azula deep, as evidenced by her descent into madness near the end of the series.


	2. A Downward Spiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After her argument with Ty Lee, Azula finds herself adrift.

Apparently, word of her little spat with Ty Lee travelled fast, for by the time she arrived as the feeling returned to her arm, she found Zuko sitting at his desk looking at her as if she'd pissed in his tea. Which was nothing compared to how irate his little bodyguard was. The original purpose of this meeting was apparently forgotten by the two of them in favor of confronting Azula about her behavior.

Currently, Suki was making threats that she was apparently under the impression she thought she could keep.

"If you _ever_ have the gall to try to talk to her again, I will personally see to it that-"

"You won't see to anything because final judgement goes to the Fire Lord. And besides, the fate of the Fire Lord's life wasn't at stake," Azula said snidely.

Suki didn’t take kindly to that and puffed up in a way oh so reminiscent of Zuko, "I need the Kyoshi Warriors to be focused on their jobs, and if they're in emotional turmoil, they can't properly focus and defend the Fire Lord from the threats that face him!"

Azula sighed, intentionally sounding bored, "True, back when I was locked away in the nuthouse, you might have been useful at deterring attacks. But the network of agents I've set up has identified and eliminated more than a few potential threats. Such as this one."

Azula pulled the report from her robes, calling their attention to it before tossing it on the desk. As Zuko opened and read it, she summarised it for them both.

"Those new agents you granted me caught wind of a former rebel spy hidden amongst my people. According to my agents, he'd made a map of guard routes and made a list of the real names and homes of several of my top tier operatives. He set up a meeting with a buyer, whom I'm told is a rather prominent Earth Kingdom merchant with ties to our dearly departed General Jirah and who was recently banned from trading in the Fire Nation. As this was an imminent threat to your life and the traitor threatened to severely compromise my people, Zuzu, I decided not to get your approval this time. The rogue agent happened to take an unfortunate turn down an alley where he was promptly mugged by assailants who weren't content with his coinpurse. It was all very tragic and so very, very predictable. As for the buyer, the guards are currently dragging him to a cell because there was already a warrant out for his arrest and I had my people inform the guard of his whereabouts. Oh, and by the way, that's the fourth one of these kinds of things I've thwarted in a month."

As they stared at her in stunned silence, she added, "So, with that little bit of business out of the way, I was hoping you could tell me why you interrupted my business for a chat about something you wouldn't even tell Ty Lee. Or did you just want to lecture me on how to treat the girl who stabbed me in the back?"

Suki flared like a bonfire in a strong wind, but before she could levy any more threats, Zuko raised his hand.

"Suki, could you give us a moment alone, please?"

Suki shot Azula a withering glare, but said nothing as she stalked out of the room, shutting the door behind her and leaving the siblings alone. Zuko immediately leaned forward and pinched his brow.

"Azula, I know this is difficult, but could you at least _try_ to be cordial with Ty Lee?"

"I'm sorry, Zuzu, but it's a little difficult to be cordial when every time I see her I think of face-planting on steamed metal. If you don't want a fight between us, perhaps you shouldn't send _her_ of all people to fetch me like a dog. I'm not a dog, Zuzu, I'm the Royal Spymaster, and before that I was Princess of the Fire Nation. Show me a little bit of dignity and don't have me escorted around like a common peasant."

Zuko's face sank even deeper into his hand, "I wanted you two to make up, like you and Mai did."

Azula actually laughed at that, though it was bitter and humorless, "'Made up?' Oh, Zuzu, Mai and I hardly even look at each other, and that's the way I like it."

"She told me you two had a talk."

"Oh, she thought that was genuine? That all that 'poor me' garbage was actually true? Sorry to break it to you, dear brother, but I always lie."

Zuko sighed in frustration and sat back, resting his hands on the armrests of his chair.

"Azula, I'm trying my best here. I know you and Ty Lee were close and Mother thinks both of you would benefit from trying to bury the hatchet."

 Of course, Mother of all people would come up with this insipid idea. Mother was always coming up with ideas that supposedly would help Azula "bond" with friends and family. She was going to have to have a talk with her about her meddling. But, of course, visiting her meant being pestered about the possibility of Azula training her little half-sister. Azula didn't relish that idea one bit, and she wasn't ashamed to admit it came from elitist pride. She was of Sozin's and Avatar Roku's line, pure in power and blood, while Kiyi might be considered part fine wine and part pond water. A powerful, respectable vintage mixed with common filth.

So it seemed more than a little humiliating that this little girl, just by copying one of Zuko's forms, had had the power to melt through a steel door while Azula's flames were still orange at that age. There wasn't anything special about Ikem's blood that contributed to Kiyi's immense natural talent. His family was the kind of common people found in rural villages, where no one actually wrote down his heritage because everyone knew everyone else.

"So sending Ty Lee was Mother's idea."

"It was both of ours. I thought you needed to talk with her, considering you'd both been avoiding each other since you've been back. You didn't need to tear her down like you did."

"You're right, I didn't, but she thoroughly deserved it."

Zuko's shoulders tensed as he leaned forward a little. Good, Azula thought, he's losing his patience.

"Is there a reason you're being a pain today, Azula?"

"Perhaps it's because you're wasting my time with this nonsense," she snapped, "So perhaps we can talk about whatever family business you insisted needed to be dealt with before dinner."

Zuko took a few deep, calming breaths as Azula smirked. Frustrating him was immensely pleasurable, even if it got neither of them what they wanted.

She prompted him, "You told Ty Lee that you'd 'figured it out.'"

"Yes," Zuko's expression softened to one that looked suspiciously like sympathy, "I did. Sozin's edict."

"Yes. Sozin's edict," Azula stated neutrally.

"The one you said was wrong."

"I did not say so, I merely implied it," she said. It was the truth, technically, "Stop dancing around the issue."

Zuko straightened up and said, "Those women you wanted out are homosexuals."

And there it was. The truth in all its glory. Azula hadn't expected Zuko to just come out and say it like that, but she recovered quickly.

"Bravo. Excellent work. I only had to point you right to it."

He gave her a withering look, but she simply smirked even more.

"They needed treatment, Azula."

Her smirk died.

"I don't appreciate being led around like that," Zuko continued, a note of accusation creeping into his voice, "You have mental patients who need treatment in your ranks right now."

Azula couldn't believe what she was hearing. In fact, it seemed so out of place that she began to laugh. When she was finished, she found Zuko staring at her, completely unaware of the irony of the situation.

"This isn't a joke, Azula. Why are you laughing?"

"I just never believed, in my wildest dreams, that _I'd_ be the compassionate one," she snorted through chuckles. The look of bewilderment, incredulity, and anger on his face as he processed her words humored her even more, sending her into another fit of laughter.

"What's so funny?!" Zuko snarled.

"Your ignorance is hilarious, Zuzu. Tell me, do you actually believe everything those doctors tell you?"

Zuko crossed his arms defensively, "They're professionals and I'm the Fire Lord. Why would they have any reason to lie to me?"

"Oh, it isn't exactly intentional on their part. After all, if you spent all your medical schooling learning that, say, flatulence was a disease, it would be difficult to convince you otherwise. After all, you'd studied for years. You're an expert. It would be a tremendous blow to your ego to discover that, perhaps, your long hours of study had gone to waste on a mistake someone else had made before you and that you've simply been copying them like a parrot. So when the Fire Lord comes to you over every other doctor in the Fire Nation, asking about flatulence, your long hours of study and doubt are going to be vindicated and you're going to spout, with no small measure of pride, the incorrect assumption that flatulence is a disease. Now replace flatulence with homosexuality and you have exactly the situation that has transpired in these last few days."

Azula watched the way Zuko twisted in an attempt to find a more "reasonable" explanation with delight. She continued on, "Now, perhaps you would like to hear about why this might be relevant to my choice to take these women on. You might remember that I was incarcerated at the same ward. During my more lucid moments, I would hear the nurses talking. They would bemoan the fact that their 'patients' were so defiant, insisting they weren't ill, insisting that the doctors were torturing them even as the staff tried to help them. This went on for months and months, and as I listened, I got a better sense of just who these girls were. They were usually nobles, second or third daughters the family couldn't marry off, usually sent to the institution after having been caught kissing a maid or something of that nature. The best I could determine was that these girls' families were looking for an excuse to get rid of them and found it in what Fire Lord Sozin deemed as unsavory behavior. As you know, what's illegal for the common folk is usually just frowned upon with the nobility."

"Where are you going with this, Azula?" Zuko sighed, clearly exasperated by her preamble. She ignored him and continued.

"Now before I go on, I want you to answer me this. What was the Air Nomads' policy on homosexuality?" she asked, taking on the tone of an impatient school teacher. Zuko furrowed his brow in thought.

"I don't know," he finally answered after much too much time thinking about it, "I'd have to ask Aang."

Azula rolled her eyes, "There's no need to bring the Avatar into this. I'll admit that the history we learned as children was sparse on Air Nomad culture, but if you don't know, perhaps Uncle's teachings about the four elements might give you a hint."

Zuko paused for a moment before he brightened up, "Air is the element of freedom! So that means that maybe they thought love had to be the same way!"

"Close enough."

"But what does this have to do with your new agents?"

"I'm getting to that. Time for another history lesson, Zuzu, I hope you're paying attention. What major historical event happened before Fire Lord Sozin decreed that homosexual acts were illegal?"

This time, Zuko didn't hesitate. "Avatar Roku died."

"Exactly, Zuzu. And twelve years later, Fire Lord Sozin used the comet's power to eradicate the Air Nomads. Twelve long years with no Avatar to stop him, during which he turned what would otherwise be an uncommon personality quirk into an indicator of perversion. All so that, when the comet came, his people would laud him for eradicating an entire culture full of sexual deviants who would never strike the Fire Nation first."

Zuko's eyes widened at this new perspective. Azula continued on, reaching the climax of her story.

"All of this was running through my head when I was locked away in the nuthouse. Here were bunches of noble, trained firebenders whose only fault was that they saw girls in the same way boys do. They were locked away, without their consent, called mad by their families, all because a dead Fire Lord made who they were a scapegoat for his ambition. So what if, one night, their cells were to mysteriously open and the princess of the Fire Nation, whom they had shared meals with and seen ranting and raving only months before, tells them that not only are they all free, but as long as they serve, they get to love whom they want when they want? That earns you the kind of loyalty no coin purse can provide. Why should I let that kind of resource go to waste?"

Azula smiled. Zuko simply stared at her, clearly confused. Of course he would have questions. It was natural.

"So, that's it?"

She wasn't expecting that one, "'That's it?'" she parroted back at him, incredulous, "What do you mean, 'that's it?' Isn't my reasoning enough for you?"

"It just seems kinda...impersonal."

Azula snorted, "Of course it's impersonal."

"But you said that Sozin was wrong," he insisted. What was he trying to get at?

"Again, I merely implied it. 'Right and wrong' as you know it have no meaning to me."

"But the way you talked about the whole thing made it seem like maybe you thought that it was wrong!"

Azula frowned, "If you have something to say, say it plainly."

Zuko straightened his shoulders, "You know, I always wondered why Ty Lee turning on you bothered you so much."

_What?_

"I mean, even with Mai you're willing to lie to keep things cordial. You're helping me rule the Fire Nation even though I took the title of Fire Lord right out from under you."

"You seem to flirt with death quite a lot ever since then," Azula growled, the memory of her greatest defeat clawing at her insides like sharp knives, "Do you actually want to die? I mean, why else would you want to bring that up?"

Zuko raised his hands, trying to placate her, "I'm trying to make a point. In your own way, you've basically forgiven everyone but Ty Lee."

"I have not 'forgiven' anyone. I've merely set aside our differences for our mutual gain.

"So there's nothing to gain by making amends with Ty Lee?"

"None at all."

"Then what's there to gain by belittling her like that?"

Azula was beginning to grow frustrated with this line of questioning. Her brother hinted at something, something that had to do with Ty Lee, her new agents, and herself. She knew, however, if he kept this up, he'd stumble across her secret. She couldn't have that. So she lied. Like she always did when she was backed into a corner.

"Personal satisfaction." 

Zuko shook his head, "I don't buy it."

That was new. Zuko hadn't confronted her about her lies before, at least not until it was too late to do anything about it. This open defiance was new. _Apparently, he is growing a spine,_ she thought wryly. She’d have been proud if it weren’t for the fact that he was sniffing around like that June bitch’s shirsu.

"Oh? Then what's your version of events?" she sneered.

At this, Zuko smiled, something genuine and warm, and Azula realized that, by goading him and leading him by the nose, she'd made a terrible mistake.

"I think it's a lot more personal than you're letting on."

"It isn't," she lied.

He smiled again. It was supposed to be disarming, but served only to increase her mounting frustration and anxiety. _He knows. He knows!!_

"It's okay, Azula. You don't have to say anything."

She watched him like a hawk, every muscle in her body prepared for her to jump up from her seat and run from the room. The way he looked at her as if she was a dying puppy made her want to flee even more. However, it was only her desire to see how he'd found her out that kept her rooted to the spot.

"Truth be told, I was going to have those patients released anyway. I just wanted to hear from you why you wanted them out so I could see if my hunch was right. And it was."

_Clever, Zuzu. Very clever._

"And your hunch was?"

"That you genuinely cared about those women. And you genuinely care about Ty Lee. That's why you're still so mad about her betrayal."

Azula narrowed her eyes to slits as she stared daggers at him, "You better be careful what you say next."

His tone took on that of someone comforting a dying animal, "Azula, it's okay. You don't have to hide anymore."

"I'm not hiding anything that's even remotely your business," she snarled at him.

"Azula, it's okay if you want to marry a wo-"

"No!" she stood up sharply, heart pounding as anger and shame rose in equal measure. Instead of Zuko, she saw her father sitting there, sneering at her, "Go ahead and gloat, Zuzu, I know you want to! But don't for one second think I accept your pity! Ba Sing Se held against every assault thrown at it! Thousands of soldiers died on its walls! But I tore conquered it! I did! I killed the Avatar! Me! But was that enough? Was that enough to convince father that I was worthy of his esteem? His love? No! And why should it? Why should he care that his daughter is one of the greatest firebenders the world has ever seen, when she won't spread her legs for a man in the name of politics?!"

Her voice had become shrill at this point. She could hear the confession as it came pouring out of her mouth, but it was too late to stop the deluge, "That's why, you see? That's why I had to be so determined, so ruthless, so damned perfect! But no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be perfect! Because a true princess of the Fire Nation wouldn't be an unnatural abomination criminalized by the very Fire Lord who began our nation's rise to glory! And then the one person I trusted enough to tell my darkest secret to jams her fingers into my back and leaves me to flop around on the ground like a fish out of water all because Mai was still in love with _you_!!"

She turned on her heel and stormed out of the room. She slammed the door open with considerable force, the wood cracking as it struck the wall. Suki and a second Kyoshi warrior, who, judging by the shocked looks on their faces, had clearly been listening where they shouldn't have, jumped back, just barely avoiding the door. They quickly stepped aside as they cast Azula fearful glances as she stomped past them, her whole body shaking with outrage and humiliation.

 _Don't cry in front of them_ , Azula thought as she only just held back her tears, _don't show them any more weakness._

* * *

 

The following day, she had to work feverishly to get caught up. Usually, she brought completed reports directly to Zuko's chambers herself to insure their security wasn't compromised. Today, however, she’d delivered the first batch, saw the simpering, sympathetic look in his eyes, and decided right then and there that today she would rely on someone trustworthy to deliver the completed reports for the rest of the week. She chose Cho, her new assistant, one of the former Kemurikage. Cho was a young woman who could recall just about anything with the kind of perfect visual clarity that anyone would wish for. She was short and slight, though that didn't hamper her firebending in anyway. Azula had chosen her for her ability in clerical work, seeing as fieldwork might be difficult, due to her persistent stutter. Azula didn't want to risk someone with her caliber of memory anyway.

As the day dragged on and more reports came in, Azula's mind couldn't help but wander back to old memories. She thought of the warm, unabashed smiles Ty Lee used to send her way, the hesitant confession of her attraction to women after burning down Chan's house, the warmth of Ty Lee's body when Ty Lee's arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace. She thought of how, in that moment, she truly believed the Fire Nation was destined for victory and how she was destined to rule as Fire Lord, with Ty Lee, Mai, and even Zuko at her side. She thought of how that moment made her think her victory was all but assured.

Her thoughts took a dark turn as she remembered how wrong she was. The Avatar returned, her only kill stolen from her by some strange means she would only later learn came from mystical water from the far north. Zuko turned on them first. Uncle made his escape. King Bumi ousted the garrison at New Ozai, giving Omashu a rebirth. Zuko had broken the Boiling Rock’s escape record and Azula’s friends had turned on her. The final blow came when Ozai declared her Fire Lord before proclaiming himself the Phoenix King. After all she had done. He did worse than steal her destiny. He made it obsolete.

That was when the visions of her mother started. Always in reflections, but Mother's voice sounded so real. She always spoke in that insufferable tone, always sympathetic and empathetic, always reaching out, never sharp and angry like her real mother could be. It used to be constant, always hounding her wherever she went.  Now, it only came in short, terrifying bursts.

Like now.

"Azula."

She looked up sharply when she heard a voice come from the mirror to her right that she usually pointedly ignored. It was positioned in just such a way that she could see her reflection in it, as well as Ursa standing by the desk. Azula made a cursory glance to confirm that Ursa was not _actually_ by the desk. Azula hated having to do that, considering the real Ursa had a penchant for sneaking up on people.

"I'm busy, Mother. Perhaps another time."

"You need to talk to her, Azula."

Azula cast the mirror a sharp glare, "I do not _need_ to do anything."

"You need to talk to her," Fake Ursa insisted, "For her sake as well as yours."

"Well maybe I simply don't want to talk to her."

It was petulant and childish, but Azula figured she could say whatever she wanted to a figment of her imagination.

"You were such close friends. It's such a shame you're letting something so trivial come between the two of you."

" _Trivial?!_ "

She surged to her feet, forgetting the oddity that was screaming at her own reflection.

"The fate of the Fire Nation was not trivial at all, and it rested on _my_ shoulders! It _stil_ does! But Ty Lee has always been content to just sit and do nothing but play with sycophants and fools! So I'm left with everything while she prances away!"

Ursa shook her head, sorrowful, "You want what you believe to be the best for her."

"Right now, I don't care if she fell into a volcano!"

"She cares for you the same way. It's why she stopped you from hurting your friend."

Azula clenched her fists and her eyes, "Shut up."

"She loves you."

"I said shut up!"

"You hurt her with what you said."

" _Shut up!!_ "

Azula jabbed two fingers toward the mirror, directly at Ursa's heart. Her focus clear, lightning sprung from her fingertips and struck true. She smiled as she saw Ursa's saddened visage turn away, moments before it shattered into a thousand pieces. A strange exhaustion washed over her then and she realized she was panting and sweaty. She turned and placed her palm on her desk to steady herself.

A crack of the door caused her to look up. Cho stood in the doorway, pale, hand covering her mouth. Azula sat down, shame swelling in her chest. She snatched a comb off her desk and began brushing her hair. She knew from experience that after these little...episodes that she tended to look a bit crazed. Nine times out of ten, fixing her hair would make her look composed enough to carry on a conversation. She swiftly undid her topknot, letting her hair spill down her back before she started combing in earnest.

"P-p-princess Azula," Cho stuttered as she stepped carefully over to the desk, "You told me y-y-you were better."

"I have relapses, occasionally. I'm not the slavering, gibbering madwoman you first saw in the asylum."

Cho looked unconvinced and more than a little afraid. Her stutter only enhanced that perception.

"Y-y-y-you're not supposed to t-t-t-talk to m-mirrors o-o-o-or b-b-bend at them."

Azula finished combing and deftly wound her hair back up into its signature topknot. She gently set her comb down and looked up at Cho.

"It usually happens after some kind of agitating event. Ty Lee and I got into a bit of a spat yesterday and so 'Mother' decided to pay me a little visit. It's a bit of a miracle she hadn't shown up before now, but just in case, instruct the guards that mirrors in public areas of the palace are to be covered for the next few days. I don't want to cause an incident and have everyone questioning my sanity. It was a minor relapse, nothing more."

Cho nodded and turned to leave. As she stepped toward the door, Azula considered "Ursa's" words and realized she was right on some level. If she didn't try to fix things with Ty Lee, she was going to keep seeing "Ursa." That would get her sent right back to the nuthouse and she couldn't have that. Cho had almost made it to the door when Azula spoke up.

"Oh, one more thing. Could you have someone send for Ty Lee? Tell her it's urgent."

Cho stopped and slowly turned back. Azula felt her heart sink at Cho's expression.

"T-t-t-ty Lee l-l-left for K-kyoshi Island this morning, m-m-m-my lady."

Azula didn't have a name or description for the bizarre, foreboding sensation that swept over her. She felt sick to her stomach, mixed with emptiness and a nice helping of dread. She didn't feel the need to leap up and run to Ty Lee's room like she'd read in a number of the silly stories she'd read as a child. She didn't feel the need to break down into tears. She didn't feel the need to board a ship and go to Kyoshi Island in hot pursuit. Because she knew it was already too late. The time to do something was the conversation yesterday.

_This was your fault._

"Have the Kyoshi Island reports brought to me first. Other than that, everything remains normal."

"O-o-of course."

"And remember what I said about the mirrors? Don't do that. I want all of them out."

"E-e-even-"

"All of them. Out. I don't care if it's in the Fire Lord's bathroom, I want them out! I'm not looking at another mirror while I'm here! Dismissed!"

Cho scurried out of the room. Once Azula was certain she was gone, she stood up, stepped over to the door and closed it, returning to her desk once she was finished.

Only then did she allow herself to cry silently, the tears running down her cheeks and dripping off her chin.

* * *

 

"Azula?"

"Yes, Mother?"

"Something rather odd happened today."

Azula shrugged as Zuko glared daggers at her from across the table. They were having family dinner, with Zuko at the head of the table, Mai next to him on his right, Ursa between her and Kiyi, with Noren next to her. Azula had the left side of the table all to herself. Just the way she liked it. Suki and another Kyoshi Warrior stood guard by the door. She ignored Zuko and began to twirl some noodles on her chopsticks.

"I don't know what you mean."

Ursa spoke with the tentative hesitancy one might reserve for approaching a vicious animal one was unsure was dead as she looked from Zuko's scowl to Azula's indifference, "Guards came in and took down the mirror in our chamber. It was...perplexing, to say the least."

Noren busied himself with keeping Kiyi in line, doing his best to get her to eat her food instead of play with it. Mai simply looked bored like she always did.

"When I asked, they said it was on your order. I guess I would just like to know why you would have such a peculiar thing done," Ursa said as politely and demurely as possible. Azula couldn't help but notice, however, the pointed look Ursa gave her.

"I felt like redecorating. Reflections are so last season."

"Azula."

Zuko's tone was sharp, threatening. Azula ignored him.

"It's nothing. I like the aesthetic. We can put up portraits of the Avatar and all his little friends."

Ursa cocked her head to the side as Zuko seethed even more.

"As interesting as that sounds, I'd much rather groom myself where I can see myself. My husband is a fine man, but he's terrible at judging whether or not I'm presentable," Ursa turned and offered Noren a soft smile. Noren returned one in kind.

"That's because you're always stunning, dear."

 _How domestic_ , Azula thought bitterly.

It made her feel sick to her stomach to watch her mother flirting with a peasant. Even if he was the father of her half-sister. She turned to Zuko.

"So, how's Father?"

The room went deathly quiet as Azula beheld the collection of glares that came her way. Noren and Kiyi were the only ones who didn't partake, with Kiyi focusing on balancing a chunk of fish precariously on the tips of her chopsticks while Noren glanced nervously between Ursa and Azula, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Prison life treating him well?" Azula added for good measure.

Zuko looked like he was about to set his chopsticks on fire. Ursa's eyes swam with conflicting emotions, while Suki and Mai had their noses wrinkled as if Azula had just laid out something particularly rotten and fragrant on the table. Noren tried to shrink down, as if the mere thought of Ursa having been with someone else would destroy him if he didn't make himself as small as possible. The only one who seemed unaware of the shift in tone was Kiyi, who had just impaled a second chunk of fish on one of her utensils and was making the two impromptu kebabs fight to the death. At least, that's what Azula assumed she was doing as she repeatedly smashed them together.

"You're in a mood today," Mai said, bringing Azula's attention back to her, "What happened? Fall out of bed this morning?"

Azula knew Mai was just trying to egg her on as some sort of retribution, but she had to admit that it did get under her skin a little. The fact that Mai'd grown a spine and could easily dish out as much as she received only served to irritate Azula further. Were it just the two of them, Azula would have gleefully engaged her until it became a shouting match. She was about to retort when she caught Zuko's eye. She saw anger, but she noticed a subtle hint of desperation. _"Please,"_ it seemed to say, _"Stop this."_ It was then that she remembered she wasn't surrounded by enemies, but by family. And family, according to Zuko and that fuddy duddy uncle of theirs, was supposed to look out for one another.

"Fine," Azula sighed, "If you must know, I've been having a rather tense couple of days and therefore I'm experiencing a bit of a relapse."

As the shock of that revelation spread through the room, Azula continued, "It's nothing major; I'll just have to avoid anything and everything reflective, lest I start seeing things in the mirrors."

Usually, Azula would have reveled in the fact that everyone looked like they'd rather be anywhere else. She enjoyed that look when she was younger, especially because they couldn't leave unless she allowed it. Being the Princess of the Fire Nation didn't extend as much power when the Fire Lord routinely vetoed her commands. Yet, right now, she'd rather her family didn't look so terrified.

_I'm growing a heart. Uncle would be proud._

It was then that she noticed Kiyi. The little girl had set down her chopsticks and looked at Azula with curiosity and interest, completely without fear. Azula thought that this boldness might be the one thing in common the two of them had.

It wasn't intelligence, however, as Kiyi brazenly smashed the silence that had fallen over the room with a completely irrelevant question.

"Why's your fire blue, Zula?"

Azula grimaced. She hated that nickname because it reminded her that "Zuzu" didn't have the same punch it used to because of Kiyi's usage of it.

"Practice, discipline, hard work, talent, and luck."

"Can I have blue fire?"

The way she phrased it, as if it was something someone could just give to her, made Azula snort with laughter. Ursa glared sharply at her, but Azula was already finished and composed herself.

"Only the hottest flames burn blue," she said, "And even many of the greatest firebenders only ever produce regular fire. It requires focus, confidence, and talent, and even then, it doesn't always appear for people. If it does, consider yourself lucky."

Kiyi did not seem deterred by this, "Mama says I'm very lucky. She also says I need a firebending master. The teachers at school are boring and Zuzu's always too busy."

She left the question unsaid to hang above the table.

"Why not Jeong Jeong?" Azula suggested, hoping the others would go for it, "I may have disagreed with him in the past, but he's certainly no fool when it comes to firebending."

Personally, she found Jeong Jeong's style of teaching too stilted and his lessons too cautious, but results were results and Jeong Jeong would make a quality tutor. Azula would even foot the bill if it meant she wouldn't have to deal with Mother's constant insistence and Kiyi's hopeful eyes.

Ursa shook her head, "I wrote to him after I learned Kiyi could firebend. He told me he was retiring and that the White Lotus needed him."

_Damn._

Ursa continued, "Kiyi already understands the basics, or so I've been told. She simply needs a tutor to reach her full potential."

"Her grades are stellar!" Noren added cheerfully and unhelpfully.

Finally, Kiyi outright said it, her eyes widening like puppies as she beamed, "Zula! You're a firebending master! Can you be my teacher? _Pleeeeeeeaaaase_?"

It seemed everyone else was glad for this change of subject, though Azlula wasn't particularly fond of the current topic. She knew she didn't have the temperament to be a teacher. That required patience and a tolerance for failure. Thought she could have plenty of the first if she wanted to, she found stomaching mistakes, even someone else's, extremely difficult.

As Kiyi's eyes sparkled, Azula felt certain this was the most she had ever spoken to the little brat. _That's not fair_ , she thought, _it's not her fault._ Odd. That thought sounded like it would come from Ty Lee. In fact, it sounded like Ty Lee's voice, all infuriating cheer and optimism.

"We'll see," Azula said as she reached for her tea. Kiyi pouted.

"That's what Mama always says. She means no."

Azula sighed and rolled her eyes. She was about to retort that life was full of disappointment when she her eyes fell on the tea in her cup as she brought it to her lips. In the light of the candles and torches around the room, she could easily see her reflection.

As well as Ty Lee, standing right over her shoulder.

The cup slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor, bursting into a thousand shards of porcelain as she let out a sharp gasp and leapt to her feet. She whirled around, ready to slap Ty Lee for startling her so. The blood in her veins turned to ice when she saw that Ty Lee wasn't behind her. She wasn't in the room, or even in the palace. She was supposed to be on a boat to Kyoshi Island. And now, everyone was staring at her in a mixture of shock, confusion, and fear. Even Mai looked a little perturbed.

"Why are you always so mean?"

That was Ty Lee's voice. Azula's eyes shot toward the spreading puddle of tea. In the reflection, Ty Lee stood behind her, both of their bodies warping as the liquid spread out across then floor. A chair scraped across the floor. Azula whipped her head up at the offending noise, prepared to let loose a blast of fire until she registered that it was just Ursa. Her mother had her hands up in calm assurance.

"Azula, what's wrong?"

Noren looked absolutely petrified. Kiyi shrunk in her seat. Suki and her comrade had left the door and had begun slowly stepping into position to flank Azula. Every muscle in Zuko's body stretched taught, prepared to move at the slightest provocation. Mai shared his tension in her stiff posture, and Azula knew she had drawn the knives in her sleeves. Ursa looked frightened, but she also looked so sympathetic and concerned. It was the same look on her face when she was once Noriko and Azula had been prepared to strike her down, the eyes that saw through the danger to the broken little girl underneath.

"I miss you, Azula."

Azula jerked her head back toward the spilled tea. Ty Lee held her arms out.

"You should come see where I live now. It's so pretty."

"Shut up! Get out of my head!" Azula snarled.

"You were so pretty, too, you know. When we acted like Kyoshi Warriors, I thought you were the prettiest girl in the world," Ty Lee looked wistfully away, "Why did you get so mean?"

They were children playing at war back then. Children doing things no girl should have back then. They should have been gossiping about boys, worrying about the latest fashion, attending to their studies, not cutting out the heart of a kingdom that stumped generals and slaughtered soldiers twice their age.

It wasn't fair that Azula was the one whose scars were visible for the world to see.

"Shut up, Ty Lee! Shut up, shut up, _shut up_!!"

Azula moved to set the ground aflame and burn Ty Lee's essence from the world. She felt a pinch in the back of her neck before everything went numb and her entire body refused to cooperate. She saw the withdrawing arm of Suki’s companion. _Ty Lee taught them chi blocking_ , she thought as her body wavered and began to tilt to one side _, How did I forget that?_

But this one felt wrong. Already her body was tingling. She tried to straighten herself.

"You did it wrong," she heard Suki admonishing, "You hit the wrong point."

"She's gonna fall," she heard Zuko say, "Grab her!"

Azula didn't say anything as she tried to correct her balance. She was able to take a step. It proved to be the wrong move. She wobbled. She over-corrected, stepping in the tea. Her foot slipped and she fell. The table rushed up to meet her. She caught sight of Kiyi reaching across the table.

"Zula!"

She didn't have time to think about what that meant as her head struck the side of the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some references to events that transpired in the original fic that this “finale” does not cover. In the original fic I had planned, Azula would return after the Fire Nation became embroiled in a civil war. The “late General Jirah” she references is the leader of the rebel army, a force comprised of Fire Nation soldiers and people who believe that Sozin’s vision for the Fire Nation should still come to fruition. The plot I had outlined had General Jirah attempting to frame Azula for the murders of a number of political and military figures loyal to Zuko. Zuko would take the bait at first, but slowly he’d unravel the conspiracy with the help of his friends and family, while Azula slowly gains an appreciation for the people that care about her while her mind slowly heals. Eventually, when Jirah reveals his hand and confronts Zuko on the battlefield, Azula comes to Zuko’s rescue and the two siblings learn from each other. Zuko learns Azula’s cunning, while Azula learns the same lessons that it took Zuko the whole animated series to learn. Jirah would be executed for his crimes and Azula would be made Zuko’s spymaster to help deal with the fallout of Jirah’s schemes. 
> 
> Another thing I’d like to address is Azula’s slipping sanity. In the original show, her madness comes swiftly and without mercy, turning her from the cold, calculating chess master into an almost demonic, cackling monster. To me, this seemed to come mostly without warning, save for a few hints here and there. The tie-in comics give us a deeper look at Azula’s psychological issues. From reading the comics, I believe that Azula’s hallucinations are essentially a form of her subconscious conscience. Her hallucinations in the show and the comics continually voice disapproval in her actions, yet still attempt to provide comfort to her through their sympathy. This distresses Azula because she’s aware she’s seeing something that’s not real and she isn’t comfortable with sympathy.


End file.
